If you have been paying attention – we skipped Five Fridays #4! That’s because our last installment actually contained two ideas (taking a “conversation walk,” and making a “summer bucket list”) and because we (meaning Brian) got busy doing other things and actually forgot about installment #4!
Here is the Five Fridays challenge #5:
Look ahead in your calendar and find a time when you can plan an overnight getaway – for just the two of you.
You can make it part of an anniversary or birthday celebration – or you can plan it “just because” your marriage deserves it!
You can make it fancy – at a swank downtown hotel; or you can make it a camping get-away; whatever floats your boat or fits your budget!
The point is to get away from the routines of daily life in order to focus on each other. Over the years we have found that we enjoy planning a dinner out, followed by either a show (if something good is playing in Chicago) or a movie, followed by an overnight stay in a nice hotel (nicer than the “Motel 6” we usually stay in when we travel to our boy’s sports tournaments!). We have found that when we commit to taking a 24 hour break from life to be together – it does wonders to refresh our relationship and bring us closer as a couple.
So – plan a time to sit down and plan your own personal “marriage retreat”!
Brian and Lorene Coffey
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Five Fridays #3
OK – We are just over a month removed from the 2011 Couples Event at FBCG. You’ve received two “Five Fridays” challenges – one that focused on your “fun list” – and one that focused on your “feel closer” list. Before we go back to each of those lists – let's try a couple of other ideas:
1. The weather is getting nicer (ever-so-slowly, but it is getting better!), so some day soon when the sun is out and it’s warm enough to venture outside – go for a walk together. If you live in a neighborhood where walking is both convenient and safe – just start out from your home and take a couple of laps around the block. Talk about whatever comes to mind – what you enjoy about living where you do; your children and how they are doing; what things have been like at work; what you want to do on your next vacation, anything. Just walk together and enjoy the day – even if you don’t talk about much the exercise will be good for you!
2. Sit down with a cup of coffee (and maybe dessert) some evening soon and talk about “things you would like to do this summer.” Have your personal and family calendars with you – and just start making a list of all the “summer things” you’d like to do – kind of like a “bucket list” without the dying part! Your list might include things like:
• go for a bike ride
• go to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone
• go to a Cubs game
• have a picnic by the river
You get the idea – now set aside a time and make your own summer “to do list”!
Thanks for being part of the Five Fridays marriage community!
Pastor Brian and Lorene
1. The weather is getting nicer (ever-so-slowly, but it is getting better!), so some day soon when the sun is out and it’s warm enough to venture outside – go for a walk together. If you live in a neighborhood where walking is both convenient and safe – just start out from your home and take a couple of laps around the block. Talk about whatever comes to mind – what you enjoy about living where you do; your children and how they are doing; what things have been like at work; what you want to do on your next vacation, anything. Just walk together and enjoy the day – even if you don’t talk about much the exercise will be good for you!
2. Sit down with a cup of coffee (and maybe dessert) some evening soon and talk about “things you would like to do this summer.” Have your personal and family calendars with you – and just start making a list of all the “summer things” you’d like to do – kind of like a “bucket list” without the dying part! Your list might include things like:
• go for a bike ride
• go to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone
• go to a Cubs game
• have a picnic by the river
You get the idea – now set aside a time and make your own summer “to do list”!
Thanks for being part of the Five Fridays marriage community!
Pastor Brian and Lorene
Monday, March 7, 2011
Five Fridays #2
Well, how did it go? Did you plan a fun activity to share together? More importantly, did you actually have fun? I hope so – because few things are as healing and powerful as sharing laughter together as a married couple! Lorene and I took advantage of a free Saturday evening (no high school basketball game to watch, no Saturday evening service for me to lead) to share a date night with a movie and dinner together. We shared popcorn at the movie – which was fun. Then we had a nice gift certificate to use for dinner – so we went to a restaurant that we would not normally choose – and we did our best to spend every last penny – which was also fun!
If you weren’t able to schedule your “fun time” yet – it might be time to take an honest look at your schedule – to see what “time bandits” are robbing you of the time you need to invest in your marriage! Sit down together today and set a time to spend together – so that you can focus on “Five Fridays” challenge #2!
1. First, set a specific date and time on your calendar to invest in your marriage. It doesn’t have to be a Friday, of course, any day or time will work so long as the two of you are together! It might be as simple as an evening at home after the kids are put to bed – with a cup of coffee and without the T.V. on! Or, it might be a date for dinner out at your favorite restaurant – the point is to invest time together in your marriage!
2. If you attended the Couples Event – you remember that we had you make a list of three things that your partner does, or that you do together, that make you feel closer as a couple. If you still have the booklet, bring it to your “date night” – if you don’t have it, or did not attend the event – take a few minutes right now and list three things that you think help you feel closer to your husband/wife:
1. _____________________________
2. _____________________________
3. _____________________________
3. When you are together – take turns going through each item on your list. Talk about what kinds of things help you feel closer as a couple – and why you think that is so. Try to give examples of times in your marriage where this particular item has produced a deep sense of connection as a couple – and talk about how each of you can be more intentional about doing your part to make sure these times of closeness happen more often!
Good luck – and thanks for being part of the “Five Fridays” marriage challenge!
Pastor Brian and Lorene
If you weren’t able to schedule your “fun time” yet – it might be time to take an honest look at your schedule – to see what “time bandits” are robbing you of the time you need to invest in your marriage! Sit down together today and set a time to spend together – so that you can focus on “Five Fridays” challenge #2!
1. First, set a specific date and time on your calendar to invest in your marriage. It doesn’t have to be a Friday, of course, any day or time will work so long as the two of you are together! It might be as simple as an evening at home after the kids are put to bed – with a cup of coffee and without the T.V. on! Or, it might be a date for dinner out at your favorite restaurant – the point is to invest time together in your marriage!
2. If you attended the Couples Event – you remember that we had you make a list of three things that your partner does, or that you do together, that make you feel closer as a couple. If you still have the booklet, bring it to your “date night” – if you don’t have it, or did not attend the event – take a few minutes right now and list three things that you think help you feel closer to your husband/wife:
1. _____________________________
2. _____________________________
3. _____________________________
3. When you are together – take turns going through each item on your list. Talk about what kinds of things help you feel closer as a couple – and why you think that is so. Try to give examples of times in your marriage where this particular item has produced a deep sense of connection as a couple – and talk about how each of you can be more intentional about doing your part to make sure these times of closeness happen more often!
Good luck – and thanks for being part of the “Five Fridays” marriage challenge!
Pastor Brian and Lorene
Monday, February 21, 2011
Welcome to Five Fridays
Thanks for joining the nearly 200 couples who have signed up to participate in the “Five Fridays” challenge!
Here’s how it works:
Every two weeks we will send an email that will contain a suggested series of questions that are intended as conversation starters for you as a couple. Your commitment is to arrange time together to work your way through the questions. It can be as simple as having coffee and dessert together at home after the kids are in bed – or as fancy as setting a “date night” out at your favorite local restaurant. You can do “Five Fridays” as a couple – or join some friends for one or more of your “Five Fridays” time together!
The point is to be intentional about your marriage by spending time together focused only on each other!
We have also created a blog on the FBCG website where we would love to hear about how you are using the “Five Fridays” emails – and how your time together has impacted your marriage. Simply click on the “Five Fridays” button and share your experience with us!
Let’s get started!
A couple of suggestions as we start:
• Understand that these questions are intended to initiate positive and fun conversation! Most of the questions will NOT have right and wrong answers! Agree ahead of time that if a certain question causes tension – you will put that conversation aside for another time and move on to the next question.
• Consider agreeing ahead of time that you will take turns answering the question first.
• Make sure both of you are in a relaxed frame of mind. If either of you is tired or stressed-out – it might be better to wait for another time.
Five Fridays #1:
1. Set a time (it doesn’t have to be a Friday!) to sit down together over coffee, dessert or dinner – to invest in your marriage.
2. Find the booklet from the “Time of Your Life” Couples event – and look over the “Fun List” you made (page 9 for him; page 11 for her). If you didn’t get a chance to complete you list – do so before you get together as a couple! Questions for Him Questions for Her
3. Take turns sharing your “Fun List” with each other. Try to recall the last time you shared that particular activity together – and why you thought it was so much fun!
4. Choose one or two items on your combined lists (you might consider allowing each of you to choose your favorite) – and set a date on the calendar to have fun together!
The longer we are married – the easier it is for us to take certain things for granted – like fun! But sharing fun and laughter together is extremely important and beneficial to our relationships. Use the “Five Fridays” challenge as an opportunity to discover, or re-discover, the power of fun in your marriage!
Make sure to put your next “Five Fridays” date on the calendar – about two weeks from today!
Pastor Brian and Lorene
Here’s how it works:
Every two weeks we will send an email that will contain a suggested series of questions that are intended as conversation starters for you as a couple. Your commitment is to arrange time together to work your way through the questions. It can be as simple as having coffee and dessert together at home after the kids are in bed – or as fancy as setting a “date night” out at your favorite local restaurant. You can do “Five Fridays” as a couple – or join some friends for one or more of your “Five Fridays” time together!
The point is to be intentional about your marriage by spending time together focused only on each other!
We have also created a blog on the FBCG website where we would love to hear about how you are using the “Five Fridays” emails – and how your time together has impacted your marriage. Simply click on the “Five Fridays” button and share your experience with us!
Let’s get started!
A couple of suggestions as we start:
• Understand that these questions are intended to initiate positive and fun conversation! Most of the questions will NOT have right and wrong answers! Agree ahead of time that if a certain question causes tension – you will put that conversation aside for another time and move on to the next question.
• Consider agreeing ahead of time that you will take turns answering the question first.
• Make sure both of you are in a relaxed frame of mind. If either of you is tired or stressed-out – it might be better to wait for another time.
Five Fridays #1:
1. Set a time (it doesn’t have to be a Friday!) to sit down together over coffee, dessert or dinner – to invest in your marriage.
2. Find the booklet from the “Time of Your Life” Couples event – and look over the “Fun List” you made (page 9 for him; page 11 for her). If you didn’t get a chance to complete you list – do so before you get together as a couple! Questions for Him Questions for Her
3. Take turns sharing your “Fun List” with each other. Try to recall the last time you shared that particular activity together – and why you thought it was so much fun!
4. Choose one or two items on your combined lists (you might consider allowing each of you to choose your favorite) – and set a date on the calendar to have fun together!
The longer we are married – the easier it is for us to take certain things for granted – like fun! But sharing fun and laughter together is extremely important and beneficial to our relationships. Use the “Five Fridays” challenge as an opportunity to discover, or re-discover, the power of fun in your marriage!
Make sure to put your next “Five Fridays” date on the calendar – about two weeks from today!
Pastor Brian and Lorene
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